Mission: To provide accurate, up-to-date education on how to cope with Lactation After Loss to grieving mothers, as well as to the care providers who care for these women after the loss of a baby.

Expand Rowan's Milk Survey.
Develop a Brochure on Lacation After Loss for mothers.
Make Brochure and results of Survey available to care providers.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Kim's Daughter...

One evening in my 18th week of pregnancy I had a sharp pain in my abdomen that doubled me over. I was home alone, as my husband was working that evening. I called my ob who happened to be on call that night. After a long talk and the fact that I wasn't having any other discomfort, she told me it was probably a muscle cramp and to take it easy and call if anything else happened.

It was late and so I laid on the couch and dozed until my husband came home. I woke up at that time and was having a couple of "cramps". Now I realize they were contractions. Then I got up to go the bathroom and I was bleeding. I screamed for my husband. We got in the car and rushed to the hospital.

When we got there they took me back right away and then off to ultrasound. I could still hear her heartbeat during the ultrasound and saw her move. Found out when back in ER that "there's nothing we can do your baby is gone". I was in shock! I had just heard the heartbeat!! How can the baby be gone!

My doctor then showed up and we went to the birthing center. She explained that I was having a placental abruption. We were devastated. They were going to take me in for a D&C because I wouldn't stop bleeding, but I begged her not to and she agreed.

I was then taken to a room and given pitocin to help me deliver. About 1 1/2- 2 hrs. later I delivered my beautiful baby girl still completely in her bag of water. No nurse or doctor where in the room when I delivered. She was so tiny, 6 3/4" long, but fully formed with all her fingers and toes.

They came in and showed her to us and then took her and cleaned her up and dressed her and wrapped her in a blanket. I held her and we cried. My family was there with us for part of the time. I had to stay overnight because of the bleeding. They shouldn't make you stay in the birthing center when you've experienced a loss. You shouldn't have to be around all the happy people and hear babies crying.

They gave us the clothes she was wearing, the blanket, a picture and her hand & footprints. We decided to let her be used for research. I know to some that seems heartless, but for us it was a chance to help other families with the research obtained. For us it was our chance to give. We have a beautiful momento box my father made with every little thing I have that was given to us. Her name is: Emily Lenore Fusco Lost: 07/08/2001 She was our first angel and first child. We will always love her and miss her.

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