Alone and 17

I was 17 (and single) when I became pregnant and lost the baby at 12 weeks. Even though the miscarriage was "for the best," this was 20 years ago and I still think of that baby almost every day - and almost no one knows about him/her. I held his (I think of the baby as a boy) body and because I was too young to be pregnant, and not many people knew, I had to just flush his body away. I think of this and feel such regret and loss - I wish I had known more at the time, and had some sort of burial for him.

I now am married and a mother of three. But the baby I lost is always added to my number of children only in my mind and heart.

Thank you for this opportunity to tell my story.